Public Confession

I didn't really know what to title this entry but thought that the title would at least get people's attention. I guess I could of called it "New Years Resolution " but I don't make new years resolutions... for 2 reasons...I can make changes at any time in my life, why wait for a new year, and...I have yet to meet anyone who has actually succeeded at keeping a resolution made at the new year. Maybe I'm just scared of failure.. who knows.

Anyway...

My confession is this...Over the years I have written many notes, cards, letters and words of encouragement to many people in my life...people I have known very well and are great friends as well as people that I have crossed paths with briefly in my life. Right now you're thinking "and the problem is??" Well the problem is... that they hardly ever get sent. They sit on my desk or cupboard or in a drawer or are carried around in a bag or purse until i finally resort to throwing them out. My garbage has seen many cards and notes come its way. I'm not 100 percent sure as to why I don't end up giving them to the people they are intended for. I have a few thoughts behind it all but i will not bore with the details. So, my resolution is that I will work on actually sending people these cards, notes and words of encouragement. Writing them is not the problem...it is the sending, as you can see.

I don't really know why I have decided that this is important. I guess it is because I know that when I hear kind words, when I get a note of encouragement, even a card just saying hi it, at the least, makes me smile. I figure if I can make someone smile, even briefly, about a situation, in the midst of chaos, or whatever, then why not!!

I received something from someone the other day. It made me smile. It reminded me of the many promises and blessings of God. She didn't write anything herself but she thought I would like it. Sometimes that is all it takes.

It all seems so simple...

So, I have already sent one. It only sat on my cupboard one day and then I took it to work and put in the mailbox of the person it was intended for. I did have a whole conversation with my self about it all (see previous blog entry about conversing with self).but decided that this is what I decided I needed to work on over the next year and that I was going to improve in this area and I was NOT going to FAIL.

(I know, I Know, it really does sound like a new years resolution, but it isn't!!)

Anyway, I may continue to have a very happy and encouraged garbage...but hopefully not. Hopefully I will be able to encourage the many people in this blessed life of mine.

Random Thoughts

Well, I thought I should blog but I don't really know what to blog about. I think that is part of my problem with blogging...I always have so much going on in this mind of mine that I find it hard to focus it down to just one thing so I decided I would just blog about some of the random thinking...

Why are nurses responsible for everything that goes on in the hospital. I had been at work for an hour yesterday and THREE parents/caregivers came out and made it very clear about things that they were not happy about. I'm sorry that those things happened but they were totally out of our control. By the end of my shift I decided that some times you're the pigeon and some times you're the statue and yesterday we were definitely the statue (we were crapped on a lot!!)

I am thankful for good friends. I spent the day with a good friend today then came home and talked on the phone with another for over 2 hours!! These friends are both friends that I can do and/or say anything with. I can not care, I can vent, I can laugh or cry, I can be me. They understand me and know where I am coming from. They listen. They think I'm weird but they like me for it (i think, lol). They are wonderful friends and I think I'll keep them around.

I really had a good time at home this Christmas. I had enough time off to go home for a few more days. This meant we could have some down time and just hang out and visit with family and friends. There was time to do about half the things (maybe) we wanted to do. We ate too much, played games and just had a really good time.

I wonder if other people have total one sided conversations with themselves...or is it just me. I think it comes from living on my own. It all just carries on nicely in my head. I don't necessarily answer myself but it's more just like one big run-on thought. Is this bad? Maybe this is why I don't have many friends...I don't need them...I just converse with myself...much easier this way...just kidding I do have friends (I think).

I hate fat days. I really do. And the worst thing about it is I can't even talk about it. As soon as i mention it people bite my head off. I didn't say I was fat or that I even thought I was fat. I said I am having a fat day...meaning I am feeling larger than previous days... usually meaning the shirt i want to wear isn't quite fitting how it should or how it usually does. I do have fat days okay!!

I wonder what this year is going to bring for me. Will I be brave enough to do the things I want to? Will I make new friends, try new things, see new places? Will it be a year of new beginnings? (It's the year of the rat, you know, which signifies hard work and new beginnings, so I've been told.) Will this be a good year full of good times and good memories or a year filled with hardship and challenges? I am really hoping for the good year but we don't always get what we want do we?!!

Well, that's about it for now. And just in case anyone is wondering I am planning to go to Guatemala in April!! I missed my opportunity to go in February but I trust that God knows what He is doing when He closed that door. Please pray for me...heaven knows I need it!!

At home this Christmas it was like a winter wonderland. Very beautiful!!

<-Playing games at Christmas time